He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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