The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
