I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
