Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
