I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
