that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
