thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
