Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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