4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
