ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
