I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
