I feel great
I just peed on a car
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
