it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We had to coat check the pizza.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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