I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
