His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
my shit smells like andre
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
