the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
