I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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