Just mADE A PArabola og urine
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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