I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.