im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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