Goodnight sugar queer
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV