I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
