I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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