Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
