I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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