I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize