I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
