I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
