Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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