Where did you get a picture of my penis
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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