that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
