It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
