Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
