So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
