just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
