Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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