Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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