that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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