It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
