no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
