you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
