If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
