i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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