based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
