I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
