Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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