I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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