No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
