In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize