we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
