Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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