i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize