You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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