An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
