i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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