is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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