Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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