Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
