A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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