Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
