was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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