First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
