all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
