you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
love makes seman taste better
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize