with your own penis?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
