so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize