doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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